


Showy Creatures

by AuroraNova



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cardassian flirting, Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 12:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21271199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova
Summary: Julian has a new pet fish. Garak has questions.





	Showy Creatures

“My, your quarters certainly are spacious, aren’t they?”

“There’s an old saying on Earth: rank has its privileges.”

“You know, Doctor, for once I completely agree with your human adage.”

“Does Cardassia have a similar one?”

“No. The concept is so obvious it doesn’t need to be stated outright. Now what is this? It’s either alive or an exceptional hologram.”

“That’s Harvey. He’s decidedly alive.”

“I didn’t know you had a pet.”

“I only adopted him last week.”

“And what drove you to acquire a pet Harvey?”

“No, he’s a betta fish. Harvey is his name. After William Harvey, the first human to recognize and prove the full circulation of blood in our bodies. It was an important step in the advancement of medicine, as you can imagine.”

“Quite a lot for a fish to live up to.”

“He’s not supposed to live up to anything. I needed to name him and Harvey seemed like a good choice, that’s all. As for how I ended up with him, I thought you’d have heard Odo thwarted Quark’s attempt to have a fighting fish tournament.”

“Yes, Bajoran animal cruelty laws are quite stringent. But surely this harmless creature can’t be one of the fearsome fish Quark imported.”

“Harmless is a matter of perspective. Male betta fish kept in close proximity to each other, or for that matter to any superficially similar species, generally fight to the death.”

“Do they? Fascinating.”

“Watch this. When you hold up a mirror, he thinks his reflection is an opponent.”

“And inflates himself.”

“It’s called flaring. I’ve been reading up so I can be a good fish owner.”

“Are you certain making your pet feel threatened isn’t going to run afoul of the animal cruelty laws?”

“A bit of stimulation is good for him. Anyway, after Odo shut down the tournament, Quark had to find homes for the fish. This was the last one left, and I felt sorry for him.”

“You felt sorry for a fish?”

“He wasn’t as handsome or gregarious as the other fish. Nobody wanted him, so I decided to give him a home.”

“I see.”

“Don’t you have pet fish on Cardassia?”

“We do not. Fish are food, though this one doesn’t even look to be worthwhile for that.”

“You can’t just talk about the merits of eating peoples’ pets.”

“There aren’t any in this case, regardless.”

“Not the point, Garak.”

“Very well. Am I permitted to inquire what benefits you reap from this creature?”

“He makes my quarters homey.”

“So your pet is an interior design choice?”

“I wouldn’t put it like that. I just enjoy having him around. He’s very agreeable.”

“Cardassian pets are supposed to serve a purpose.”

“Just because he’s not a guard fish doesn’t mean he’s useless. Being something pleasant to come home to is plenty.”

“Does Earth have guard fish?”

“No. Guard dogs, mostly, and depending where you live it’s debatable how much use we have for them anymore.”

“It’s just as well. Harvey is not very intimidating. Though he appears to think he is, if this posturing is any indication.”

“It is, and he may well be extremely intimidating, if you’re a betta fish.”

“Perhaps. For all we know he could have emerged from Quark’s tournament having slain every one of his opponents.”

“I’ll never understand the appeal of betting on blood sports. Or blood sports in general, for that matter. You could wager on a holosuite program just as easily.”

“I doubt anyone would trust Quark to refrain from tinkering with the program to maximize his profits.”

“As though he won’t always find a way. Speaking of Quark, I promised to show you why his martinis are inferior.”

“I’m looking forward to the demonstration. Tell me, Doctor, does Starfleet encourage its officers to collect pets? What happens if you’re on an away mission which goes longer than planned?”

“I have automated feeding set up. He’ll be fine for up to two weeks, though he might get lonely. Should I take this concern as an offer to check in on him?”’

“No. You most certainly should not.”

“Because he’d like it.”

“What part of ‘no’ did you find unclear? If this is how you treat your guests, I can only assume human manners leave something to be desired.”

“You’re still looking at the fish, Garak.”

“I’m trying to figure out what you find so appealing about this creature.”

“Not everything has to have deeper meaning, you know.”

“If you take comfort in an overly simplified worldview, yes.”

“Are you here for a martini or to argue about my fish and its perceived broader significance?”

“Both.”

“In that case, my friend, I have news for you.”

“Oh?”

“Miles told me how Cardassians flirt. Inviting you in for a drink is a traditional means of expressing my interest, in case that wasn’t clear.”

“Does that mean Quark’s martinis are acceptable?”

“No. I did not lure you here on false pretenses.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Does that mean you’d be happy to fishsit after all?”

“Only if my failure to do so will result in you sulking over its death for weeks.”

“I can work with that.”


End file.
